So I had this whole other journal entry sitting here, written and ready to go when I actually reread it before I hit post. And then I deleted it all, except for the first two sentences. You’ll see why I did when you read the rewritten version below. It’s way less depressing than the original post. LOL.
In rereading the last few entries here on the blog, I realize I’ve been a little down in the dumps. And I’m trying to figure out how to best not make that consume me because really that doesn’t make for entertaining reading either. I feel like while I gain sympathy from some folks, that’s really not what I need to be successful again. I’ve been wallowing in self pity for months. Why I can’t do this or do that. Why I can’t manage to not be the laziest bitch in the world. Okay, maybe not the second part of that, because I’m far from lazy, but that’s how it’s been going lately.
So no more feeling sorry for myself on here. No more complaining about not writing. No more worrying about why I’m not writing or why I’m not motivated. It’s time to get my ass in gear. So what I need is a plan. And you guys know, I love plans. Plans are motivating. Plans are fun. And plans make me feel good when I achieve my goals.
This is what I’m going to do.
Before I do anything else, I’m going to sit down and figure out a new Five Year Plan. Taking a year off blew the other one to shit, but that’s okay. I’m here now. No wallowing in the past mistakes. That’s probably going to be the hardest part of what I need to do to get back on track.
Goals make me feel amazing when I achieve them, and I think I forgot that, or maybe I selectively didn’t remember it. Who knows?
1. Stop being flighty with writing projects.
I was avoiding giving myself too much pressure when it came to writing, but it’s pretty obvious that I need a little bit of pressure, so after I figure out the new Five Year Plan, I will be setting real deadlines for myself, and sticking to them. They won’t be the massive ones I set for myself when I was in full swing, because now I have a full time job that I have to work around too. But they will be consistent and doable.
2. Be consistent.
Speaking of consistent, I’ve been going a week or more without writing, and then I’ll binge write for one night and call it good for awhile. But the bottom line is that if I want to achieve the goals I’m going to set, I have to be consistent and regular, and I can’t go one or more weeks without writing. It needs to be a daily routine for me to sit down and write for a couple hours.
3. Love myself, and know that I am human.
This one will be the most important, because I think I treated myself like a machine before. My schedule will be a lot more hectic this time around, so time management, and treating myself nicely will be more important, as I’m already usually exhausted from work every day as it is. My job is very hands on, and I’m on my feet for 10 hours every day and moving constantly. I don’t ever sit down until I get off work and get in my car.
What I’d like from y’all…
The bottom line is that I need to write to be happy, and it’s been over a year since I’ve felt that rush from it. What I’m asking of y’all is to tell me when I’m being self-defeating. I don’t always see it in myself, and it keeps me from being able to write. So I want to post upbeat things, talk about my plans, and have fun with y’all. I don’t want to be the Debby Downer.
So, all that said… Here’s my plan for the week:
- Sit down and create a Dream Sheet… a list of everything I’d love to have in five or ten years. Dream big, and let nothing hinder it.
- Use those Big Dreams to create a new Five Year Plan.
- Finally stop being a ninny, and get back on the Dave Ramsey Money Makeover thing. (Yes, I know this one isn’t writing, but it’s kind of important too, so I’m including it)
- Write 250-500 words a day for 5 days straight.
Okay, there it is. I wrote it all down, so I have to do it now. I’ll will post another update next week, so we can see how I do. Haha. Don’t let me forget, LOL. I just might…